the obsession and fondness i have towards these actors x always drag me to the extent of watching behind the scenes.. reality shows.. social media updates.. bla bla. i always try to limit myself. watching the series and.. PERIOD. why?? ive had bad experience. MaxTul was onced one of my BL heart soulmates. one day i accidently read about the issues happened between them. i couldnt stand it, my BL heart was too fragile to dig further. this incident left a big impact on me. i know this is silly and ridiculous, but.. its my heart im dealing with. i used to love all MaxTul series even have them in my phone to be rewatched anytime, anywhere. after that incident, i couldnt even look at them. i REMOVED ALL. i cant never look at Max the same way again. i doubt if i can watch another series with them together. sometimes i wonder how these actors survive after having numerous intimate scenes of this genre. they are professional?? okay.. i dunno. but, IMO, humans have heart and feelings. i believe it affects them more or less. i wonder if this is why some actors walked away from this chamber? how long will this carrier path will be? in this rising wave of Thai BL, how far the extent would they go to satisfy us, to be the best in our eyes? in the future, how would they feel looking back at these pages in their life? thats why.. sometimes i just decide to be a casual viewer.. i dont want wise thinking.. i wanna avoid critical thinking.. i dont wanna dig further 🤐